Are we There Yet?
My future as a learner by Rachel Patzwaldt
In my marriage, my husband and I each have our roles. I do more of the domestic goddess thing and he does the tough and dirty handy man work. Thanks to him I can do dry wall, electrical work, plumbing and lay a tile floor. Thanks to me, he can bake a mean pan of brownies, braid our daughter's hair and run the vacuum like no one's business. But we still have some aspects of our life that didn't get meshed with the other's. For example, my husband runs the majority of our finances. And as I began the journey to completing my Master's through Michigan State University's MAED program, I would see that look on his face every semester when the tuition bill was due.
It was that look of, "Are you done yet?" It's not as if he thought all of the money was going to waste. He overheard me having synchronous conversations and was pretty impressed at the dialogue on my end. He saw me reading books, taking notes and mumbling to myself about how this would be perfect for that group of learners in my classroom who were still struggling. He would peek in our home office, night after night, saying good night while I toiled away a few more hours before signing off for the night. I think the intent of his question of being done or not with my learning was for my benefit more than his. He saw the stress of being a full time working mom of two young children with a household to run and he knew that the more he reminded me of the end being in sight, the more motivated I would be to get there.
But the funny thing that happened (and please don't break it to him yet because I haven't quite got around to it), is that through this process I have realized I will never be done learning. That seems to be a very obvious statement coming from a teacher who tries to get her students to see that idea every day, but I truly can not see an end to my learning through an organized and accredited program. I have been around the block enough to know that professional development courses and sessions that are offered are more of a quick fix. I can go get trained on the way to implement literature circles and walk away with a flash drive full of blackline masters. I can attend a workshop to brush up on ways to get my students to be more fluent readers. But once I walk away, it is up to me to keep my learning from stopping. The biggest benefit to being a part of the MAED program is that every semester, whether I wanted to or not, classes and learning objectives that were going to push me to keep pushing myself were ready to go. All of the classes that I participated in made me go back to my personal philosophies of learning and reminded me how to make the best educational decisions for my students. And I don't think I am there just yet.
The way that I envision myself to keep learning is to get into another program or keep taking classes at MSU. Maybe I won't be in another graduate program, but to be involved in courses that will continue to drive my passion. I continue to be passionate about literacy, the focus of my current program, but have a new found love for math and technology. Quite honestly, the math and technology appreciation came from the fear of being left behind. I have always have an internal desire to be the best. Call it competitive if you will, but that desire and that focus have let me keep up with all of the curriculum and societal changes that have occurred since I started teaching.
The technological opportunities (or dare I say, requirements) that MSU provided me opened my eyes up even further to ways to engage students in their learning. It also came with that realization of, what have I been missing out on for the last few years, and even more importantly, what have I been not letting my students in on? That fear, that competitive drive, the availability of resources and tools, all those things have combined to make me an educator that is never going to say the words, "I'm done." I have a few goals for myself as a continued learner. One, and it may be more of a short term goal that grows into something more complex, is to maintain my Capstone website that you are enjoying for one year. I will continue to enhance my resume, add to my showcase and reflect in my classroom blog about the educational adventures I have the privilege of being a part of. Two, I will continue to take courses through MSU in and out of my areas of focus. This will come after a summer vacation of not doing any course work, but who am I kidding, I will be working on plans for my next fall's classroom. Third, I will begin the journey of transforming from being the one who does all the learning, to one who might do the teaching. I have been a mentor to student interns in the past and felt it very gratifying to not only share in the experience of what it takes to be successful in the classroom, but monitoring my continued growth as well. Maybe my role as a mentor teacher will continue or maybe I will try to be involved with MSU on a different level. In a parallel fashion, I hope an affiliation with MSU and its interns can provide me with a way to continue my new found love affair with technology and its use in the classroom. For as I have learned over the last two years, I either continue on growing in the area of technology or I will get left behind.
I'm not there yet. I am looking toward my future of being done with my Master's program but know that I am still that kind of educator that keeps learning not only for myself, but because it is going to benefit my learners most. And now the only thing standing in my way is that look from my husband. Sorry, honey, I'm not done yet.
It was that look of, "Are you done yet?" It's not as if he thought all of the money was going to waste. He overheard me having synchronous conversations and was pretty impressed at the dialogue on my end. He saw me reading books, taking notes and mumbling to myself about how this would be perfect for that group of learners in my classroom who were still struggling. He would peek in our home office, night after night, saying good night while I toiled away a few more hours before signing off for the night. I think the intent of his question of being done or not with my learning was for my benefit more than his. He saw the stress of being a full time working mom of two young children with a household to run and he knew that the more he reminded me of the end being in sight, the more motivated I would be to get there.
But the funny thing that happened (and please don't break it to him yet because I haven't quite got around to it), is that through this process I have realized I will never be done learning. That seems to be a very obvious statement coming from a teacher who tries to get her students to see that idea every day, but I truly can not see an end to my learning through an organized and accredited program. I have been around the block enough to know that professional development courses and sessions that are offered are more of a quick fix. I can go get trained on the way to implement literature circles and walk away with a flash drive full of blackline masters. I can attend a workshop to brush up on ways to get my students to be more fluent readers. But once I walk away, it is up to me to keep my learning from stopping. The biggest benefit to being a part of the MAED program is that every semester, whether I wanted to or not, classes and learning objectives that were going to push me to keep pushing myself were ready to go. All of the classes that I participated in made me go back to my personal philosophies of learning and reminded me how to make the best educational decisions for my students. And I don't think I am there just yet.
The way that I envision myself to keep learning is to get into another program or keep taking classes at MSU. Maybe I won't be in another graduate program, but to be involved in courses that will continue to drive my passion. I continue to be passionate about literacy, the focus of my current program, but have a new found love for math and technology. Quite honestly, the math and technology appreciation came from the fear of being left behind. I have always have an internal desire to be the best. Call it competitive if you will, but that desire and that focus have let me keep up with all of the curriculum and societal changes that have occurred since I started teaching.
The technological opportunities (or dare I say, requirements) that MSU provided me opened my eyes up even further to ways to engage students in their learning. It also came with that realization of, what have I been missing out on for the last few years, and even more importantly, what have I been not letting my students in on? That fear, that competitive drive, the availability of resources and tools, all those things have combined to make me an educator that is never going to say the words, "I'm done." I have a few goals for myself as a continued learner. One, and it may be more of a short term goal that grows into something more complex, is to maintain my Capstone website that you are enjoying for one year. I will continue to enhance my resume, add to my showcase and reflect in my classroom blog about the educational adventures I have the privilege of being a part of. Two, I will continue to take courses through MSU in and out of my areas of focus. This will come after a summer vacation of not doing any course work, but who am I kidding, I will be working on plans for my next fall's classroom. Third, I will begin the journey of transforming from being the one who does all the learning, to one who might do the teaching. I have been a mentor to student interns in the past and felt it very gratifying to not only share in the experience of what it takes to be successful in the classroom, but monitoring my continued growth as well. Maybe my role as a mentor teacher will continue or maybe I will try to be involved with MSU on a different level. In a parallel fashion, I hope an affiliation with MSU and its interns can provide me with a way to continue my new found love affair with technology and its use in the classroom. For as I have learned over the last two years, I either continue on growing in the area of technology or I will get left behind.
I'm not there yet. I am looking toward my future of being done with my Master's program but know that I am still that kind of educator that keeps learning not only for myself, but because it is going to benefit my learners most. And now the only thing standing in my way is that look from my husband. Sorry, honey, I'm not done yet.