It's (Not) All About Me
my synthesis essay By Rachel Patzwaldt
I started my Master's program through Michigan State University in a semi-state of panic. My teaching certificate had expired and although I had submitted college credits and SB-CEUs and SCECHS and another any form of credit that came in an abbreviated name, I didn't have enough. If I was enrolled in a Master's program, however, I could get an extension on my certificate and continue teaching while I achieved it. It wasn't as if I wasn't going to get my Masters, yet the timing hadn't been right yet for me. Well, the time had apparently come. So, I was accepted into the program, and it has been a whirlwind of learning, exploring, typing, reading and growing ever since.
After looking back over the two years it has taken me to complete the program, I have noticed a few major themes that have woven themselves in every course I have taken and participated in. Technology was the first theme that I realized was a commonality across the board. Now, it may seem obvious that technology was a theme when I was getting my Masters entirely through online courses, but it wasn't my participation in and with technology that mattered. It was how I integrated and used technology to the greatest advantage of my students. In my district, technology is sparse. It isn't because administration and the community don't believe in its use, but it results from the fact that there isn't money for it. Our technology department has tried writing grants, but our school district doesn't qualify for many. If you look at the soci-economic make up of my district, you would think the same. We only have three percent of our student population that are free and reduced lunch. So from a numbers standpoint, we should have the money for technology. But we don't. Due to the economic status of the majority of the families in our district and the lock made on student funds by the state a couple of years ago, our per pupil allotment is between $500 and $1,500 less than our surrounding districts. When it all comes down to it, there is no money for technology. When we (myself included) pursue grants that would provide classrooms with useable and up to date technology, the response we often get is that it should be provided by the school district. Interesting notion, huh? The only way that I was fortunate enough to receive a short-throw projector and document camera in my room was by taking student overages. The same goes for my colleagues who have one. The others just got too fed up and bought technology of their own and use it in the classroom. Others who feel like the grant committees, it should be provided, make do without.
Now why should it matter to my Master's degree whether I have any usable technology in my room or not? Well simply put, I couldn't have gotten my Masters without it. How could I have logged on, downloaded educational articles, conversed with classmates synchronously and asynchronously, received feedback from professors, uploaded work, conducted research, shared project documents, started two blogs and checked my grades if it weren't for technology. What I have also come to realize over the course of my time in this program, is that technology is not only necessary for work to be accomplished, it enhances that work. Numerous times throughout each course, conversations were structured around or inspired conversations about how technology was integrated into student learning. The generation that I am teaching is one of the firsts to have an entire lifetime awareness of technology as a common place staple of life. I didn't get my first cell phone until my senior year of college. Now, my fourth graders are often getting an upgrade on their phones for their tenth birthday. During independent reading time, one-third of my students do so on an e-reader or tablet. I can only imagine how that number is going to go up as time passes on...like next year.
The class that helped me to make this connection between essential integration and presence of technology and today's learners was TE 846: Accommodating Differences in Literacy Learners with Gina Garner. This was my first big jump back into being a "college" student again, so my interaction with ANGEL (the online class hosting system) was a rocky one. I tried not to make ANGEL too upset with my errant clicks and drags and it tried not to freeze up too much on me on purpose. We developed a workable relationship and I found myself looking forward to logging in to class and getting my work done. The digital interaction that I most benefited from and that I feel served as my "light bulb" moment as an educator was the amount of purposeful and successful interaction I had with my classmates without ever meeting them. I was assigned to a group project, we all logged on to a chat room at the same time and had a lengthy conversation about how to instruct our readers best. This was all done without ever speaking a word out loud to each other. When it was time to receive feedback on projects, I would log in to my Google Docs account and see notes from my group members giving me constructive feedback. And all the while I was thinking, this is what I need to be doing with my students.
My mind went to my students often, as it should have, throughout my learning. With every article I read, with every new novel I analyzed and with every conversation I had that was about best practices, my thoughts kept going back to my students. My students were the inspiration for choosing a focus on literacy in my Masters. I remember the first year of being a "real" teacher (not that I wasn't a teacher before, I was just getting paid this time) and not knowing how to teach my second graders to read. It wasn't as if I had no knowledge on how kids learned to read, but to be able to analyze a student's reading skills and use the right resources to enhance their skills was an experience I never had had before. As time, my tenure and learning continued, I got better at teaching readers, but it still felt like an area that I could improve upon. And it wasn't because I wanted it for my sake--it was for my students. Every year I would get a new class and new set of struggles. It was then my mission to provide the experiences and resources that would turn those struggles into skills.
Laura Apol helped to show me how to do that. I had the privilege of taking two courses under her watch and guidance. The first was TE 849: Methods and Materials for Teaching Children's and Adolescent Literature. The majority of that course was spent analyzing and debating the question of who has the right to tell stories, more specifically, who has the right to tell stories that are attached to a certain culture. It was an eye-opening experience for me because although I had known the types of books that my students read needed to be quality, I had never questioned them on account of being accurate and honest. Again, my learning was connected back to my students and what I was providing them with as an educator. Laura pushed me even further in TE 836: Awards and Classics of Children's Literature. This course pushed me back again on my heels when asked to define what quality literature is and who has the right to carve that definition. I was exposed to new books, ways of thinking and I was forced to solidify my philosophies as a teacher of readers and writers. My students also started to benefit from my newly found skills as a teacher of readers and writers. I was re-evaluating the ways I taught, the resources I was using and the way that I viewed literacy in general. My instruction as an educator was improving for the benefit of myself and my students.
My development as a learner through participation in my Master's program was not always positive. Over the course of the two years, I felt very privileged to interact with several course instructors and professors that provided me with constructive feedback, questioned my personal philosophies and helped me to see that even teaching at the college level was about the students. I was learning how to be a better instructor not only by participating in the classes but by seeing my course leaders as role models for myself. That wasn't the case my entire time as a student, however. There were times when I was a frustrated, aggravated and unmotivated learner due to one aspect of one course or another. Constantly throughout those uncomfortable experiences, I kept reflecting back to my students. What had become a frustration to me had become a very important lesson in itself.
Looking back on my experience, maybe it was better that I made it through with some trials and tribulations instead of having everything flow well and end up perfect. I did learn something; possible more than I can articulate in an essay. But if I give it a shot, what I learned was the synthesis that was lingering under the expectations of each course I took-it's not about me. Yes, getting my Master's solved the problem of my teaching certificate, but that could have been done in a different way. Eventually I would have been in this same place regardless of my situation. I would have been sitting here, on the cusp of my graduation because it isn't about being a smarter or more well-rounded person. It is about being a better educator for my students. That is what I have learned, accomplished, realized and will hold true to my heart as long as I am in the educational profession. The fact that I was being inspired to make myself a better educator through my continued learning was one that overarched my entire experience. I did gain a lot of knowledge, skills, confidence and resources as I have made this two year journey. But what is even more is that the understanding that I was not only doing this for my current students but every other student that walks through my door. That was not my mindset at the beginning. It was not the way I entered my Master's program, that is definitely the way I am finishing it.
After looking back over the two years it has taken me to complete the program, I have noticed a few major themes that have woven themselves in every course I have taken and participated in. Technology was the first theme that I realized was a commonality across the board. Now, it may seem obvious that technology was a theme when I was getting my Masters entirely through online courses, but it wasn't my participation in and with technology that mattered. It was how I integrated and used technology to the greatest advantage of my students. In my district, technology is sparse. It isn't because administration and the community don't believe in its use, but it results from the fact that there isn't money for it. Our technology department has tried writing grants, but our school district doesn't qualify for many. If you look at the soci-economic make up of my district, you would think the same. We only have three percent of our student population that are free and reduced lunch. So from a numbers standpoint, we should have the money for technology. But we don't. Due to the economic status of the majority of the families in our district and the lock made on student funds by the state a couple of years ago, our per pupil allotment is between $500 and $1,500 less than our surrounding districts. When it all comes down to it, there is no money for technology. When we (myself included) pursue grants that would provide classrooms with useable and up to date technology, the response we often get is that it should be provided by the school district. Interesting notion, huh? The only way that I was fortunate enough to receive a short-throw projector and document camera in my room was by taking student overages. The same goes for my colleagues who have one. The others just got too fed up and bought technology of their own and use it in the classroom. Others who feel like the grant committees, it should be provided, make do without.
Now why should it matter to my Master's degree whether I have any usable technology in my room or not? Well simply put, I couldn't have gotten my Masters without it. How could I have logged on, downloaded educational articles, conversed with classmates synchronously and asynchronously, received feedback from professors, uploaded work, conducted research, shared project documents, started two blogs and checked my grades if it weren't for technology. What I have also come to realize over the course of my time in this program, is that technology is not only necessary for work to be accomplished, it enhances that work. Numerous times throughout each course, conversations were structured around or inspired conversations about how technology was integrated into student learning. The generation that I am teaching is one of the firsts to have an entire lifetime awareness of technology as a common place staple of life. I didn't get my first cell phone until my senior year of college. Now, my fourth graders are often getting an upgrade on their phones for their tenth birthday. During independent reading time, one-third of my students do so on an e-reader or tablet. I can only imagine how that number is going to go up as time passes on...like next year.
The class that helped me to make this connection between essential integration and presence of technology and today's learners was TE 846: Accommodating Differences in Literacy Learners with Gina Garner. This was my first big jump back into being a "college" student again, so my interaction with ANGEL (the online class hosting system) was a rocky one. I tried not to make ANGEL too upset with my errant clicks and drags and it tried not to freeze up too much on me on purpose. We developed a workable relationship and I found myself looking forward to logging in to class and getting my work done. The digital interaction that I most benefited from and that I feel served as my "light bulb" moment as an educator was the amount of purposeful and successful interaction I had with my classmates without ever meeting them. I was assigned to a group project, we all logged on to a chat room at the same time and had a lengthy conversation about how to instruct our readers best. This was all done without ever speaking a word out loud to each other. When it was time to receive feedback on projects, I would log in to my Google Docs account and see notes from my group members giving me constructive feedback. And all the while I was thinking, this is what I need to be doing with my students.
My mind went to my students often, as it should have, throughout my learning. With every article I read, with every new novel I analyzed and with every conversation I had that was about best practices, my thoughts kept going back to my students. My students were the inspiration for choosing a focus on literacy in my Masters. I remember the first year of being a "real" teacher (not that I wasn't a teacher before, I was just getting paid this time) and not knowing how to teach my second graders to read. It wasn't as if I had no knowledge on how kids learned to read, but to be able to analyze a student's reading skills and use the right resources to enhance their skills was an experience I never had had before. As time, my tenure and learning continued, I got better at teaching readers, but it still felt like an area that I could improve upon. And it wasn't because I wanted it for my sake--it was for my students. Every year I would get a new class and new set of struggles. It was then my mission to provide the experiences and resources that would turn those struggles into skills.
Laura Apol helped to show me how to do that. I had the privilege of taking two courses under her watch and guidance. The first was TE 849: Methods and Materials for Teaching Children's and Adolescent Literature. The majority of that course was spent analyzing and debating the question of who has the right to tell stories, more specifically, who has the right to tell stories that are attached to a certain culture. It was an eye-opening experience for me because although I had known the types of books that my students read needed to be quality, I had never questioned them on account of being accurate and honest. Again, my learning was connected back to my students and what I was providing them with as an educator. Laura pushed me even further in TE 836: Awards and Classics of Children's Literature. This course pushed me back again on my heels when asked to define what quality literature is and who has the right to carve that definition. I was exposed to new books, ways of thinking and I was forced to solidify my philosophies as a teacher of readers and writers. My students also started to benefit from my newly found skills as a teacher of readers and writers. I was re-evaluating the ways I taught, the resources I was using and the way that I viewed literacy in general. My instruction as an educator was improving for the benefit of myself and my students.
My development as a learner through participation in my Master's program was not always positive. Over the course of the two years, I felt very privileged to interact with several course instructors and professors that provided me with constructive feedback, questioned my personal philosophies and helped me to see that even teaching at the college level was about the students. I was learning how to be a better instructor not only by participating in the classes but by seeing my course leaders as role models for myself. That wasn't the case my entire time as a student, however. There were times when I was a frustrated, aggravated and unmotivated learner due to one aspect of one course or another. Constantly throughout those uncomfortable experiences, I kept reflecting back to my students. What had become a frustration to me had become a very important lesson in itself.
Looking back on my experience, maybe it was better that I made it through with some trials and tribulations instead of having everything flow well and end up perfect. I did learn something; possible more than I can articulate in an essay. But if I give it a shot, what I learned was the synthesis that was lingering under the expectations of each course I took-it's not about me. Yes, getting my Master's solved the problem of my teaching certificate, but that could have been done in a different way. Eventually I would have been in this same place regardless of my situation. I would have been sitting here, on the cusp of my graduation because it isn't about being a smarter or more well-rounded person. It is about being a better educator for my students. That is what I have learned, accomplished, realized and will hold true to my heart as long as I am in the educational profession. The fact that I was being inspired to make myself a better educator through my continued learning was one that overarched my entire experience. I did gain a lot of knowledge, skills, confidence and resources as I have made this two year journey. But what is even more is that the understanding that I was not only doing this for my current students but every other student that walks through my door. That was not my mindset at the beginning. It was not the way I entered my Master's program, that is definitely the way I am finishing it.